When I go fishing, I must first get through the ritual of running the rabbit trails.
First I find my fishing vest, it never seems to be where I think I left it. This is, obviously, because of my wife moving things around after I go to sleep. She does that with all of my things, keys, wallet, pocket knife, any particular shirt or pants that I decide to wear that day (yes she knows what I will wear before I do), belt, shoes, socks, fishing vest, fishing hat...and everything else I own..
Next I find my fishing hat, which one would think would be next to the vest. Not so. They seem to have an opposing polarity and push away from each other.
Then the sunglasses which should be in the vest, but never are. Is there such a thing as opposing trilarity?
When I do locate my vest I am forced to go through each of the 1,321 pockets to find my license to make sure it is still up to date, never can remember the expiration date. And when I go through those pockets I find all sorts of things that I thought were lost, and I make mental note of where they are, said mental note lasts approximately .003 nano seconds in my cranium and then "Poof" gone again, making finding anything again an Easter egg hunt.
I've learned to check the vest for spiders. I don't need another hoodoo dance session. The last one left me with sore muscles and aching joints for two weeks. And lately I check my hat for the same reason.
So there I am, wearing my vest and I think I put my hat on and searching for my shades when it occurs to me that I need a water bottle, and go off to find a water bottle, that my wife moved while I was asleep. After considerable time I ask my wife where it is.
Somehow she always plucks it out of thin air right in front of my face. Woman is a magician, better than those amateurs you see on TV. It's a form of dark magic that she performs.
After filling it with tap water I remember I swore off tap water and dump it out and fill it with filtered water. I run a mental check list and seem to not recall seeing my knife in any of the 1,321 pockets. I search for the knife, eventually find it in my tackle box of all places. Who puts a fishing knife in a tackle box? My wife when I'm asleep.
Now, finally, I grab my fly rod and walk outside. Then back inside to get my wading staff. Back out I go, and get ten steps from the door, then go back and get the landing net. Twenty steps from the door and I remember the fly box I had loaded up with the flys I want to try today. Back inside.
Eventually I make it to the river 50 yards from my house and remember that I didn't actually put my hat on. At this point my feet are wet and I decide to go fishing regardless of what I do or don't have with me.
Net result, I have half the time to fish I had when I started to go fishing. And I tend to always be fishing with at least one necessary item back at the house. What saves me is the close proximity of my fishing area - Lord knows what would happen if I had to deal with a boat and all the parts and pieces that come with that. I had a boat once. Not sure where it is anymore and I don't want to ask my wife, she'd pluck it out of the air in front of me and I'd be stuck with dealing with that again.
Rabbit trails, they get me every time.