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Fishing Rules

by: Lloyd Tackitt , Texas 7/1/2014

I've been fishing since before I can remember, literally.  I'm like that Olympic athlete that started training on gym equipment before he could walk.  Sort of.  Okay, I'm not an Olympic athlete, or an Olympic fisherman, but I have learned a few rules along the way.

1.  If you've gone all day without a bite and you get a massive backlash while your line is still out, you'll get a bite right then.  Right when you can't do anything about it, that's when you get a great hit.

2.  Reaction time can miss the fish.  It's easy to set the hook as a reaction to feeling a hit.  And often that reaction is too fast and will pull the bait (lure or live) right out of the fish's mouth.  And yet even knowing that I still often do it.  It is damn hard to tell your body not to react, especially to the thrill of a hit.  I'm even worse about doing it on top water hits.  Drinking a lot of beer can help with this though.

3.  If you take a person that's never been fishing with you, you'll get out fished.  What is it about beginner's luck?  Do beginners send out invisible signals that fish can pick up on and it makes the fish go bonkers?  I've been skunked so many times by beginners that I refuse to take them with me now.  Go learn how not to catch giant fish on someone else's dime buddy and come back when you've been trained in the fine art of not catching a fish all day.

4.  When it comes to fishing with live bait women will out fish men ten to one.  I've seen this time and time again.  In my youth we only fished with live bait, and often - since I was just a tot - I was in a group that included my mom, grandmom, aunt, or some of their female friends.  The women always caught more than the men.  I don't believe it was because they were more patient and not moving around from spot to spot every ten minutes like the men and boys - no I think there is something in their skin oil that attracts fish after they handled the minnow.

5.  When carp fishing with bait, and letting the bait sit out there on the bottom, if you forget to open the bail or put the reel on free spool you will lose the rod.  I've lost more than one that way, and I blame bourbon for my forgetfulness.  I don't care how fast you are, when that rod goes sliding towards the water you will not catch up to it. 

6.  Children are a real blast to take fishing, but they have the attention span of a goldfish.  Don't expect them to sit quietly with their bait in the water for more than four seconds. 

7.  A talkative fishermen is a nuisance.  It's perfectly okay to talk once in a great while.  "Pass me a beer." is okay to say of course, but not more than once every three minutes - the cure for that is to just hand them the cooler.  Other than that, speaking out loud should be reserved for cursing when you miss a fish.  Cursing is of course quite okay.  It's fun to listen to. And Schadenfreude!

8.  A perfectly running out board motor will only break down in the middle of a lake.  No where else.  No time else.  I guess that's inevitable, but wouldn't it be a lot better if they broke down at the loading ramp.  While still on the trailer. 

9.  If you are a catch and release fishermen the largest fish you will ever catch will be when you are fishing alone, and forgot to bring your camera.  "Yeah Right!" is the reaction you'll get from your buddies when you show them how big it was by holding your hands apart from each other.  Oh, they'll believe you because it has happened to them, but they'll never admit it.  Never.  No matter how many beers you get them to drink.

10.  If you are so unfortunate as to catch a fish on your very fist cast just pack up and go home, it's over.  Live for another day.

11.  Wives who will clean your fish for you are just a fantasy.  Thinking you'll find one, or that you have one you can talk into it is pure fantasy...  You have better odds of finding a stranded playmate of the year wearing a tiny bikine in the middle of the lake because her outboard motor quit.  No, you'll just find me.  Sorry about that.  Give me a tow? 

Blog content © Lloyd Tackitt
Member comments
Flyrodn, CO   7/1/2014 2:41:27 PM
Only if you have the playmate with you!
Ajax5240, CO   7/1/2014 2:59:42 PM
I can always count on you for a good chuckle Lloyd!
Lloyd Tackitt (Lloyd Tackitt), TX   7/1/2014 5:52:55 PM
Flyrodn, if I'm stuck in the middle of a lake with a scantily clad playmate of the year don't even think I want help you greedy bugger. :-) And Ajax, THANKS! I try.
anglerwannabe, CO   7/4/2014 8:12:24 AM
number 3 is spot n for me. They will catch more, catch larger and worse.. if targeting a rare fish or species never caught before.. they will catch it and I won't
AnglerDDS, CO   7/4/2014 8:38:03 AM
That's hilarious! Mainly because it's all true. Thanks for the levity, Lloyd. You're always a good read. JFD Loveland, CO.
JOHN_COSprings, CO   7/4/2014 10:11:11 AM
Wise words Lloyd for sure ! You could have added, "after packing up and walking back to the car park, you are certain to see huge schools of your target species you failed to catch, swimming nearby, giving you the fins-up!" ...
Dave Mauldin, TX   7/4/2014 8:05:59 PM
and one other thing,,,, you got 'em all. Dave
illyena, CO   8/1/2014 2:11:35 PM
I take a offense to the very last rule you posted. I am a female and have been fishing since before I walk and was able to clean fish since before I was 6 yrs old. and my husband is a very proud man to be married to a woman that will fish , touch the bait and clean the fish and cook it for me. I love fishing. and it wouldn't be fishing if you can't hold your own to a mans perspective. but the rest of the rules are to darn funny. have a great fishing day to you... Illyena
Lloyd Tackitt (Lloyd Tackitt), TX   8/1/2014 2:29:14 PM
Good Lord Illyena! I hope your husband has a shotgun to protect you from poachers, otherwise...Ladies and Gentlemen, a fantasy for one man on this planet has come true. I bow to him.
Lloyd Tackitt
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